Ever since I was a small child all I wanted to do was be “Fabulous”. When they asked me what I wanted in terms of 3 wishes in Kindergarden, I replied ” a fur coat, a million dollars and poodle”. This has always been the same.
I grew up very unfashionable-wearing Victorian dresses in the late 90′s to primary school and having many anorak type interests. I eventually graduated to babydoll dresses and punk, hanging out with a lot of losers on the Lower East Side in Manhattan. I didn’t want to be an edgy artstar though- I wanted to be a Maxim covergirl or Tori Amos depending on what day you asked me.
I moved to London and I was super excited. I loved the whole thing but London was my abusive lover, dragging me in the mud vs. giving me a clay facial. I was cool and weird but not weird and cool in the proper way like I-D magazine cool and weird. In fact, the real truth was I was so square. I didn’t like Indie music and I was into Italian tailoring and rubber but I never wanted to exchange genital fluids with strangers. I liked Phil Collins and hated alchol. I just liked talking about my strap-on.
This is what it ended up coming down to. I met Germany. She was similar to me. A lot of people didn’t like her. She understood fetish fashion and the love of schlager music. I watched Eurovision and had a religious experience but nothing like Düsseldorf airport in 2008.
Last year, I had enough of London full-time. I never found the version of Fabulous I was really looking for. I bought language tapes. I realised I could become Über Fabulous. I could take the Deutsche Mode Welt by storm and maybe launch my label Latextrannyhosen. I could be the moderatorin with the biggest haar in Deutschland.
This is it- The journey to Fabulous.